Title:       of Scott and Logan
Author:      DCE aka ViciousGurl
Email:       geek-tastic AT gmx DOT com
Web Page:    http://www.dlc.fi/~dce/fic/index.html
Rating:      PG
Archive:     Nowhere without my written permission.
Disclaimers: X-Men belong to Marvel and the movieverse versions 
             owe a little something to Bryan Singer & co. I'm just 
             borrowing them for a little while and no infringement 
             is intended. This story, however, belongs to me.
Summary:     Jean thinks about stuff. Jean POV, movieverse
Notes:       Many thanks to Kara for beta reading again :)
Feedback:    That's a rhetorical question, right?
			


OF SCOTT AND LOGAN
by DCE aka ViciousGurl
<geek-tastic AT gmx DOT com>
(c)2001


I once read somewhere that there are basically two kinds of people -
those who stay, and those who won't. Me, I'm one of those who stays.
Oh, I may have to travel quite a bit because of my work, and being an
X-Man all but guarantees that I find myself at all kinds of
interesting locations, but I'm always glad to be back home. Scott's
much the same way. I think it may have something to do with the way we
grew up.

I've been with Scott for so long it would be hard, if not impossible,
to imagine my life without him. Our roots have grown strong together,
delving deep and intertwining with each other so, that by now, they
are practically inseparable.

Flirting with Logan was... well, fun. As much as I love Scott, it is
still flattering to be occasionally reminded that he's not the only
man who finds me appealing. Flirting can be fun and quite harmless
unless one allows it to get out of hand. I don't believe I did that.

Logan *is* an extremely attractive man. He has that Neanderthal
quality, the air of danger which clings to him like blood cells to
fibrin. I suppose it is that whole bad-boy image we women do respond
to so readily. But, while I admit that rebels and mysterious strangers
make wonderfully fascinating characters in books and in films, real
life is a different matter altogether. In real life, I don't want a
'bad-boy'. What I want is a man who stays. One whom I *know* I can
depend on, and not just in a battle. A man who can give me strength as
well as accept it from me in return.

I am not perfect, and neither is Scott, but together we're both
better. Still not perfect, but better. I like who I am when I'm with
him, and I know he feels the same way about me. Part of it has to do
with having been together for so long that we know each other's little
quirks, but it's not all simply about shared history. It also has to
do with... well, Scott. Of what and who he is. Of the kind of person
he is. See, not a lot of people really *get* Scott. They look at him
and listen to him, and then they make the mistake of taking him at
face value. Because he *appears* to be the kind of man one can, and
one should, take at face value. And he's not.

Scott is a lot like Logan in that neither of them wears their heart on
their sleeve. Albeit they go about it very differently, both of them
guard their inner thoughts and emotions incredibly tightly.

One would never guess it by simply looking at Scott, but he is very
passionate and he feels most things unbelievably deeply. He may appear
po-faced and somewhat stiff on the outside but inside, there is a
veritable cornucopia of emotions fighting to be freed. Every now and
again he allows some of it to spill over but for the most part, he
prefers to keep those feelings tightly secured.

Control.

Scott cultivates it like no other. At one time, it was a necessity;
literally a question of life and death. It is still necessary, only to
a somewhat lesser degree. I know he sometimes worries over losing his
control. Of what might happen should he ever allow himself to
completely let go of that control. There are times when I wish he
*did* let go, but I know that is something he could do as naturally as
he could stop breathing altogether. 'Restraint' truly is his middle
name, which is why it is fortunate that I'm a telepath. Not that he
doesn't talk to me, but sometimes he tends to overly ruminate things
before actually verbalizing them.

However, I am not complaining nor would I want to change him. You see,
there is one place Scott can, and does, let go of his precious
control. Not altogether, but for the most part. Yes, that's right. In
the privacy of our room his shields drop and he allows me to explore
the uncharted parts of his sometimes tumultuous inner universe to my
heart's content.

Because he loves me.

Because he trusts me.
 
Trust.

Another thing Scott and Logan have in common. They both have trouble
trusting people, opening up. Living near a telepath, trust becomes
even a bigger issue.

As a rule, I do not go around eavesdropping in people's minds, not
even in Scott's, but there are times when I do pick up things
unintentionally. Grand emotions, especially if they come about
suddenly and unexpectedly, tend to leak out in such a manner which
makes them extremely difficult to ignore.

In choosing to be with me, Scott has had to more or less give up his
privacy. Every couple does that to a degree, but most people get to at
least keep their thoughts private. I know it hasn't always been easy
on Scott, but as he once told me, he made up his mind a long time ago.
In his view, the pros more than outweigh the cons. Talk about an ego
booster. He has trusted himself to me, and I trust him to stay.

Logan, on the other hand, is a wanderer, and he's never attempted to
pretend otherwise. That is one of the things I like best about him. He
doesn't apologize for being himself. Take him or leave him, he is who
he is. Period.

Of course, sometimes that simply means that he is being pigheaded, but
that's another story.

Logan's been gone for nearly eight months, but I know he'll be back -
one day. He's not one to break a promise. He'll be back, but I don't
think he'll stay. Sooner or later, he will leave again.

I hope he finds what he is looking for. I do. Because even wanderers
need to know where their roots are.


- fin -