Copyright, Right?

When you write copy, you have the right to copyright the copy you write, if the copy is right. If however, your copy falls over, you must right your copy. If you write religious services you write rite, and have the right to copyright the rite you write.

Very conservative people write right copy, and have the right to copyright the right copy they write. A right wing cleric would write right rite, and has the right to copyright the right rite he has the right to write. His editor has the job of making the right rite copy right before the copyright can be right.

Should Thom Wright decide to write right rite, then Wright would write right rite, which Wright has the right to copyright. Duplicating that rite would copy Wright right rite, and violate copyright, which Wright would have the right to right.

Right?


Yuppie

One evening this Columbia Yuppie was stopped for allegedly drunken driving and was given a breath test by the Howard County Police.
"Well ?" he asked somewhat belligerently as the Desk Sergeant slowly read the print out and entered the data in an arrest record.
"Disappointing to say the least," the Sergeant replied. "Chateau Duvalier... 1962... rather thin... not aged well at all."


Ei puhettakaan

In spite of regulations, the enlisted man fell in love with an Army Nurse with the rank of Captain. One morning, following a lover's quarrel, they passed each other without a sign of recognition.
A Lieutenant witnessed the scene and stopped the non-com. "That woman is an officer and you didn't even salute her." "Salute hell." the solider whined. "We're not even speaking !"


Woman driver

Woman driver to traffic cop: "Does this ticket cancel the one I got earlier this morning ?"


Ethnic Jokes

What do you call someone who speaks 3 languages?
Trilingual

What do you call someone who speaks 2 languages?
Bilingual

What do you call someone who speaks 1 language?
An American


Birthday gift

Sean showed his buddy the beautiful diamond ring he had bought his girl-friend for her birthday. "I thought she wanted a our-wheel-drive vehicle," said his friend.

"She did," Sean said. "But where am I going to find a fake Jeep?"


How The IRS Got Their Name

It is no accident that the two words "the IRS" spells the single word "theirs".


Actual Court testimony

Actual word for word quotes from the witness stand:

Q: How old is your son-the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?

Q: You were not shot in the fracas?
A: No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.


Red Buttons

Appearing on Dennis Miller's show, Red Buttons announced he was 80 years old, but that 80 is not old. He explained: Old is when your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefooted. Old is when your Doctor doesn't give you x-rays anymore, but just holds you up to the light. Old is when a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door nearest your car. Old is when you remember when the Dead Sea was only sick. Old is when your wife says "lets go upstairs and make Love" and you answer "Honey, I can't do both"

And he adds...

Sure I've gotten old. I've had 2 bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, and fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. I have bouts with dementia, poor circulation,hardly feel my hands and feet anymore, can't remember if I'm 85 or 92, but....THANK GOD, I STILL HAVE MY FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE.


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