You Know You Work in Community Theater if...

You Know You Work in Community Theater if...
{Source Unknown}

You Know You Work in Community Theater if.......

your living room sofa spends more time on stage than you do.

you have your own secret family recipe for stage blood.

you've ever appeared on stage wearing your own clothes.

you can find a prop in the prop room that hasn't seen the light of day in ten years, but you don't know where your own vacuum cleaner is.

you have a Frequent Shopper Card at The Salvation Army.

you start buying your work clothes at Goodwill so you can buy your costumes at the mall.

you've ever cleaned a tuxedo with a magic marker.

you've ever appeared on stage in an outfit held together with hot glue.

you name your son Samuel and tell him that his name is in honor of the French side of the family.

you've ever appeared in a show where tech week is devoted to getting the running time under four and a half hours.

you've ever appeared on stage in an English drawing room murder mystery where half the cast spoke with southern accents.

your children have ever begged you not to buy them any more Happy Meals.

you've ever appeared in a show where the cast outnumbered the audience.

you've ever gotten a part because you were the only one who showed up for auditions.

the audience recognizes you the minute you walk on stage because they saw you taking out the trash before the show.

you've ever menaced anyone with a gun held together with electrical tape.

you've ever had to haul a sofa off stage between scenes wearing a dinner gown and high heels.

you've ever had to haul a sofa off stage between scenes wearing a dinner gown and high heels - and you're a guy.

you've ever played the father of someone your father's age.

your kids know your lines better than you do

your kids DELIVER your lines better than you do.

you get home from rehearsal and have to go back to the theater because you forgot your kids.

you've ever appeared in a show where an actor leaned out through a window without opening it first.

you've ever had to play a drunk scene opposite someone who was REALLY drunk.

you've ever heard a director say, "Try not to bump into the furniture," and mean it.

you've ever appeared on stage with people you're related to.

you've ever heard the head of the set construction crew say, "Just paint it black - no one will ever see it."

you've ever appeared in a show featuring a flushing toilet sound effect.

the set designer has ever told you not to walk on the left half of the stage because the floor's still wet-five minutes before curtain.

you've ever been told that the reason your director has no eyebrows is because he handled special effects for the last show.

you've ever said, "Don't worry - we'll just hot glue it."


How many Christmas songs can you guess?

1. Quadruped with Crimson Proboscis
2. Eight pm to six am without noise
3. Miniscule Hamlet in the Near East
4. Benevolent Despot
5. Adorn the Vestibule
6. Exuberence Directed to the Planet
7. Listen! Aeriel Spirits Announcing
8. Trio of Monarchs
9. Yonder in the Hayrack
10. Cherubins, Audited from Aloft
11. Assemble, Everyone who Believes
12. Hallowed, Post Meridiem
13. A Combination of All Colors on Dec. 25
14. Tintinabulaton
15. A Dozen 24 Hour Yule Periods
16. Befell During the Translucent Bewitching Hour
17. Homo Sapien of Crystalized Vapor
18. I Desire a Pair of Incisors on Dec. 25
19. I Espied My Maternal Parent Osculating St. Nick
20. Perambulating Through a Dec. Solstice Fantasy
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY AND PEACEFUL NEW YEAR

CHRISTMAS SONGS TEST - ANSWERS

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
Silent Night
O Little Town of Bethlehem
Good King Wenseslas
Deck the Halls
Joy to the World
Hark the Herald Angels Sing
We Three Kings of Orient Are
Away in a Manger
Angels we have heard on high
Come all ye Faithful
O Holy Night
White Christmas
Jingle Bells
12 days of Christmas
It came upon a midnight clear
Frosty the Snowman
All I want for Christmas are my two front teeth
I saw momma kissing Santa Claus
Walking in a Winter Wonderland


The Phone Calls:

An old couple was just settling in to bed one night when the phone rang. The husband got out of bed and went into the living room (parlor) to answer the phone. His wife could hear him say, "Hello?" Then he said, "Sure is." He hung up the receiver (remember those) and went back to bed.

A minute later the phone rang again. The husband got out of bed and went into the other room and his wife could hear him say, "Hello?" again and then he said, "Sure is." again. He hung up the receiver and went back to bed.

The wife asked who it was. The man said he didn't know. A minute later the phone rang again. The husband got out of bed and went into the other room and his wife could hear him say, "Hello?" Then he said, "Sure is." He hung up the receiver and went back to bed.

The wife asked again about the caller. The man said he didn't know who it was. The wife then asked, "Well, what did the person say?

He said, "It's odd, a woman just keeps saying, "Long distance from Chicago."


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