Pauly goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs. He says to the clerk, "I'd like to register my new invention. It's a folding bottle."|
"OK," says the clerk.
"What do you call it?"
"A fottle," replies Pauly, the inventor.
"A fottle? That's stupid! Can't you think of something else?"
"I can think about it. I've got something else though. It's a folding carton."
"And what do you call that?" asks the clerk.
"A farton", replies the inventor.
"That's rude. You can't possibly call it that!"
"In that case," says the inventor... "You're really going to hate the name of my folding bucket!"
A: Sometimes you miss the subway.
Q: What's the difference between a mosquito and your boss ?
A: One's a relentless, pain-inflicting bloodsucker. The other's an insect.
Q: What's the difference between your boss and time ?
A: You can kill time.
Q: What did your boss say to the cannon ?
A: You're fired !
Q: What did your boss say to the calendar ?
A: Your days are numbered !
Q: What did your boss say to the bridge ?
A: You're suspended !
Q: What did your boss say to George Washington ?
A: You're history !
Q: What do you call an employee who blows her boss's brains out ?
A: An excellent shot.
Q: Why won't the postman go to your boss's house ?
A: Because his dog's mean, too.
He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting at him. "So, you've been out drinking again!!"
"What makes you say that?" he asks as he puts on an innocent look.
"The pub called, you left your wheelchair there again."
Policeman to blonde driver he has just flagged down:
"I've stopped you, Miss, because your silencer has gone."
Blonde: "How can you tell it's gone?"
Officer: "I can hear it, Miss."
Blonde, after some thought: "How can you hear it if it has gone?"
The doctor replied, "I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is he's going to live. The bad news is we're pretty sure he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life.
The man asks the kids what he's dressed up like for Halloween.
The kid says, "I'm an IRS agent." Then he takes 28% of the man's candy, leaves, and doesn't say Thank You.
When she got to Sammy, whose father ran a local toy store, she said, "Sammy, since you're Jewish, I guess your family didn't celebrate Christmas."
Sammy replied, "Oh yes, we did! We all held hands and danced around the cash register singing 'What A Friend We Have In Jesus.'