My Jewish brother married a Catholic wife. They've got two daughters, with a son on the way.|
The wife has been taking the daughters to Church every Sunday. One Sunday, during high mass, the older daughter (age 5) whispers in her mother's ear, "Can we go home now?"
"Not yet", replies her mother, "the mass is only half over."
"We can go now, Mommy. I'm half-Jewish."
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The other replied, "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."
"Ravashanka Vankatarataam Bannerjee" he replied.
"How do you spell that? asked the teacher.
"My mother helps me" said the little boy.
"Let's get a second opinion, ok?
Finally he yelled, "Is anybody up there?"
A deep voice replied, "Yes, I'm up here."
"Who is it?"
"It's the Lord"
"Can you help me?"
"Yes, I can help."
Looking around the man became full of panic. "What?!?!"
"Let go. I will catch you."
"Uh... Is there anybody else up there?"
This was made even more humorous a couple of years later, when they were saved a pile of money in a lawsuit brought by a US citizen who was injured stopping the chainsaw with his hand. He was unable to collect, since the manual specifically warned against it.
Rune surmised that the warnings were legally unnecessary in the Scandinavian manuals, since no Scandinavian would publicly admit to doing anything that stupid.
I've always thought the problem could be solved if all products had a label on them stating: WARNING: This product not intended for use by stupid people. Let this guy try to prove in court that, although he propped the ladder up on a manure heap, he is *not* stupid and didn't violate the instructions.
Tact is the art of convincing people that they know more than they do.