Winter Olympics

Moon Lan Ding...........A great achievement of the American space program
Gun Pao Der.............An ancient Chinese invention
Lin Ching...............An illegal execution
Hia Yu..................Greeting
Wai So Dim..............Are you trying to save electricity?
Shai Gai................Bashful person
Lo Fing.................Being nonproductive
Wa Shing Kah............Cleaning an automobile
Si Ling Fan.............Device to keep you cool
Jan Ne Ka Sun...........Former late night talk show host
Ar U Wun Tu.............Gay liberation greeting
Lao Ze Sho..............Gilligan's Island
Chin Tu Fat.............Have you considered a face lift?
Wai Go Nao..............How about staying a while?
Ai Bang Mai Ni..........I bumped into the coffee table
Wai Hang Mi.............I do not deserve the death penalty
Ai No Pei...............I have a press pass
Yu Bai Tu Hai...........I see you are not doing well in the stock market
Hao Long Wei Ting.......Inquiry to determine if bus is due
No Wei Ding.............Keep out of pond
Ne Ahn..................Lighting fixture used in advertising signs
Lei Tsho................Midnight television program
Jah Kee Pin Ching.......My underwear is too tight
Sum Ting Wong...........Not everything is right here
Lao Zi..................Not very good
Wai Yu Kum Nao..........Our meeting was for next Thursday
Wan Bum Lung............Person with tuberculosis
Tai Ne Bae Be...........Premature infant
No Bai Dam Ting.........Prices are too high here
Lei Lo..................Remain out of sight
Ten Ding Ba.............Serving drinks to people
Tai Ne Po Ne............Small horse
Dum Gai.................Stupid fellow
Wai U Shao Ting.........There is no reason to raise your voice
Hia Dei Kum.............They are approaching
No Pah King.............Tow-away zone
Hu Yu Hai Ding..........We have reason to believe you are harboring a fugutive
Yu Zhu Lee Wong.........Weather forecaster
Hu Flung Dung...........Which one of you fertilized the field?
Wai Yu Mun Ching........You're blowing your diet
Shu Man Go..............Your body odour is offensive
Yu Mai Te Tan...........Your vacation in Hawaii agrees with you

• 60 Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one)
• 50 Miami residents turn on the heat
• 45 Vermont residents go to outdoor concerts
• 40 You can see your breath,
  Californians shiver uncontrollably,
  Minnesotans go swimming
  
• 35 Italian cars don't start
  
• 32 Water freezes
• 30 You plan your vacation to Australia
• 25 Ohio water freezes,
  Californians weep pitiably,
  Minnesotans eat ice cream,
  Canadians go swimming,
  
• 20 Politicians begin to talk about the homeless,
  New York City water freezes
  Miami residents plan vacation further South
  
• 15 French cars don't start,
  Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you
  
• 10 You need jumper cables to get the car going
  
• 5 American cars don't start
  
• 0 Alaskans put on T-shirts
  
• -10 German cars don't start
  Eyes freeze shut when you blink
  
• -15 You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
  Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects
  Miami residents cease to exist
  
• -20 Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you
  Politicians actually do something about the homeless
  Minnesotans shovel snow off roof
  Japanese cars don't start
  
• -25 Too cold to think
  You need jumper cables to get the driver going
  
• -30 You plan a two week hot bath
  Swedish cars don't start
  
• -40 Californians disappear
  Minnesotans button top button
  Canadians put on sweaters
  Your car helps you plan your trip South
  
• -50 Congressional hot air freezes
  Alaskans close the bathroom window
  
• -80 Hell freezes over
  Polar bears move South
  Viking Fans order hot cocoa at the game
  
• -90 Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets