Some GENERAL Questions

1). What is a four-letter word that ends in k and means the same as intercourse?

2). What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only two of?

3). What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long, has a head on it, and that women love so much that they often blow it?

4). What word starts with f and ends with u-c-k?

5). Name five words that are each four letters long, end in u-n-t, one of which is a word for a woman?

6). What four letter word begins with f and ends with k, and if you can't get one you can use your hands?

7). What is hard, six inches long, has two nuts, and can make a girl fat?

8). What four-letter word ends in i-t and is found on the bottom of birdcages?

9). What is it that all men have one of; it's longer on some men than on others; the pope doesn't use his; and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?

(Answers)

1. (talk)
2. (legs)
3. (a twenty dollar bill)
4. (firetruck)
5. (bunt, hunt, runt, punt, aunt)
6. (fork)
7. (Almond Joy candy bar)
8. (grit)
9. (last name)


Dog Talents

A guy walks into a talent agency with a dog, and says "I've got a great act...my dog can actually talk."
"Surrrre he can," replies the talent agent, "prove it."
So the fellow asks the dog, "What is on top of a building?"
"Roof, roof!" the dog replies.
"What does sandpaper feel like?"
"Rough, rough!" the dog replies.
The talent agent starts to get impatient as the man asks his dog,
"Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?"
"Ruth, Ruth!" says the dog.
Instantly the talent agent throws open the door, and kicks the pair out of his office. After a few seconds, the dog looks up at his master and says, "Should I have said DiMaggio?"


X

Mr. Greenberg was an illiterate immigrant, but he worked hard, saved his pennies, and started a small business. It did well, and soon he had enough money to send for the wife and children. The work kept him very busy, so he never had time to learn to write, but the bank was happy to do business with him, even though his signature consisted of two X's. He prospered, he opened more stores, the kids were transferred to private schools, the family moved into a fancy house (with one staircase going nowhere just for show)...you get the idea. One day his banker, Mr. Smith, asked him to drop by. "So what's the problem?" Greenberg asked, a bit anxiously. Smith waved a bunch of checks at him.
"Perhaps nothing," he said, "but I wanted to be on the safe side. These recent checks of yours are all signed with 3 X's, but your signature of record has just 2."
Greenberg looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry about making trouble," he said, "but my vife said that since I'm now such a high class rich guy, I should have a middle name!"


Checking Meters

Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter.

Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.

As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong.

Gasping for breath, she replied, "When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured I'd better run too!"


Evian

Ever wonder about those people who spend two euros a throw on those little bottles of Evian water? Trying spelling Evian backward.


Proctologist

A man went into the proctologist's office for his first exam. The doctor told him to have a seat in the examination room and that he would be with him in just a few minutes. Well, when the man sat down in the examination room, he noticed that there were three items on a stand next to the doctor's desk: a tube of K-Y jelly, a rubber glove, and a beer.

When the doctor came in, the man said, "Look Doc, this is my first exam... I know what the K-Y is for... and I know what the glove is for... but what's the BEER for?"

At this instant, the doctor became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door. The doc flung the door open and yelled to his nurse, "Dammit, nurse!!! I said a BUTT LIGHT!!!"


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