Notoriously Artifical

How would you feel if, one morning, you'd walk by the mirror, gaze into it and see yourself five years younger? Some things you recognize, some not. You feel sympathy and are secretly ashamed of the things he didn't know.

Would you like to tell him something? Probably not, as he should live it to comprehend.

Some of these things I felt when I happened by my old web page. No art indeed.

But I digress.

Since you've come to this URL, you're probably someone from the "scene" or come through a page set up by someone with some connection to it. The demoscene is a loose organization of youngsters with an interest in digital art or making computers do things they supposedly can't. It has the potential for an ideal learning environment preparing people to work in the computer or content creation industry, or indeed start on the misguided path of conventional art (like myself).

However, some strange human trait urges the scene peers to organize themselves hierarchially, some of them being very good at what they do, some less so, some just aspiring, and the latter adore the former. Sometimes this becomes similiar to pop idols and their fans.

If you idolize someone, no matter who, please take a moment to consider whether you would rather build your identity on your own well discliplined self than a vague sense of idolizing someone or belonging to a community.

During my scene days I got a number of acquintances, mostly people who contacted me to commend my work. I don't say that all of them, or even most, behaved in the fashion I've hinted at above. But some did. If you remember that we've been corresponding sometime in the past, drop me a line. My warder@dlc.fi -address still works but is so infested by spam that your message might get lost. You can deduce my current primary address if you take my initial plus surname, vnorilo, the domain of siba.fi and put the at-sign in between.

Please note that I am not interested in what you have to say about my music, old or new. To keep my sanity and judgement I must ignore the popular opinion (already because of the sheer diversity). Critique is well covered by my teachers and schoolmates. If you feel you should let me know that you liked them, feel free. However, that's not in any way important to me.

If you expect to find pieces in the style "Warder" was known for, you'll be initially disappointed. I'm set up with all the tools in reach to produce the ultimate track of inane celtic/orchestral mumbo jumbo. I could use huge symphonic sample libraries, live soloists, record them in a studio and so on. I've studied oodles of harmony, arranging, orchestral scoring, you name it. But I no longer could do it , even if I wanted to. I don't. What was heartfelt and true in those pieces can not manifest itself similiarily any more. That would have been the trap of replacing my judgement with the increasingly positive recognition I was getting for them.

The medium was shallow and readily exhausted. I've done what can be done in the area (within the limits of my potential) and unless I discover something new there will be no more. It is also to spare the memories and phase of life those songs represent. They have worthy musical ingredients and even a modicum of subtlety and sophisticated aesthetics. They were born from very real pain and emotion. But to go further I need to look for something that's deeper, more organic, more true. True, especially to who I am now.

I don't claim that these new works in any way represent that which I'm trying to find. Many of them are trivial, some in bad taste, even. Consider them research projects. If you look with an open mind I think you will find the same sparks of beauty and strength that attracted you and me to what I did before.

Vesa